Winning huh? Yes you are...Mr. Sheen, yes, you are.
So you've followed the Tiger Blood swilling soldier as his public unraveling(?) across all forms of media continues. But like all celebrity train wrecks, the public can't get enough of it. In fact, neither can I. The current rumor, in case you've been hiding in a hermetically sealed mason jar, is he might get his old job back!!!!! My first impression? Charlie Sheen, you're my hero...then my brain springs into action.
Could I, in my current human incarnation, become Charlie Sheen? Could I host drug-fueled porn star orgies, publicly berate my corporate bosses and attempt to sue them, flagrantly flaunt my two objectified, nicknamed porn star girlfriends around my kids, and have my greedy-ass corporate bosses ask me to return? Imagine, I arrive at my return-to-work negotiations with the greedy-ass corporate Board of Directors and their opening statement is..."Mr. Afro-Elitist, your job awaits, we missed you while you were out fucking porn stars and drinking Tiger Blood...oh, and by the way, we're raising your compensation." Hey, that's not so unlikely, is it? There are complications, my skin-hue and socioeconomic status amongst them, but the biggest complication of them all...I'm not the cash cow.
It reminds me of a line from the final scene of John Ford's "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" where a newspaper (remember those?) reporter remarks, "When legend becomes fact, print the legend". Whether one likes it or not, Charlie Sheen has become a legend. Amazing.
Edit note: A March 24 news item enlightens the situation: CBS refutes reports regarding rumors of Charlie Sheen's return to the network...maybe they became tired of waiting on that long-ass line.